Guest post by Rebecca at http://dvrdame.blogspot.com/
May I add a disclaimer so that nobody gets sued. I'm not an accredited child psychologist and I don't have any special degrees. I'm a mom who is informed and I like to give my opinion on the subject.
Spanking is most effective when the child's age ranges from two to six. Can you imagine spanking your kid when they're eighteen? Come on I know you have more sense than that. On a short term basis spanking can stop negative behavior. I think if you were smacked on the bottom that would grab your attention. Also, when you spank please explain why you spanked your child and negative behavior is not acceptable. Basically, you don't want to do a drive by spanking because that's confusing to the child.
Some long term effects of spanking can be aggressiveness, anti-socialism, and poor quality of parent child/relationship. Red flag! There can be some very serious consequences when spanking isn't implemented properly. It's very important that you don't take spanking to a level of abuse. Abuse of children is not acceptable and it's against the law. And we should never spank our kids out of anger.
Ultimately spanking should never be taken lightly. A choice needs to be made by each parent and there are plenty of resources that can further assist you in your decision. Here are a few links if you want to further investigate: http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/256 and http://healthland.time.com/2011/06/28/would-you-record-yourself-spanking-your-kids/
Thanks for reading! And thank you Pamela Maynard for letting be a guest on your blog. I'm very excited to do my first guest post! I'm jumping up and down right like a deranged idiot. You can find me at http://dvrdame.blogspot.com/
Rebecca
Thank you very much for writing this informative post. A lot of parents will find this most helpful.
We know not all families are perfect all the time. Discipline is important to keep order in a family.
My son is 8, and is past the effective spanking age. My husband and I did spank him when he was a toddler. It was so effective, we never had to do it too many times.
Thanks again, Rebecca for writing. Be sure to visit her blog at:
http://dvrdame.blogspot.com/
Posts
13 comments:
(sigh).
Spanking is something I decided, long before I had children (or a wife), would be absent from my life. Having been beaten by my parents, I knew what it was like- and that it provides NO benefit whatsoever. It only insures that a strong-willed child will decide thenceforth that his only ally is himself. Period.
I have heard these arguments- and seen the effects and felt them firsthand. Deprivation of benefits and a discussion of the feelings that develop as a result as well as acceptable behaviors works wonders.
Thanks Roy for leaving your opinion on spanking. I know it is a controversial subject these days. I welcome everyone's opinions on the subject.
I have spanked before but very sparingly. My dd is 6 and much too big for spanking now. I do appreciate the hand slap for the younger ones just to get their undivided attention.
thanks for a good article about a controversial issue.
Following you from the weekend hop. Very nice blog!
Gina, thanks for commenting.
Melissa and Madison, I returned the favors. Thanks for visiting!
I'm thrilled that so many people commented! Thanks Pamela for letting me speak my mind.
We had spanked our older son rarely until one day we decided not to spank anymore. I honestly thought it would be a harder transition, but once we made the commitment, we just knew that spanking wasn't an option and we were able to find other ways to discipline our kids. I think for our family it's working right now and it's worth the effort.
Thanks for stopping by my blog and following. I am following you back now :).
I think a key point on this issue that you included was that spanking for discipline is different from abuse. A hand-slap or a good smack on the bottom of a toddler can be effective. They are not able to reason yet, which makes some of the other forms of discipline less effective. Having experiences spankings that turned into abuse because they were done it anger, I would caution parents to walk out of the room when the anger is starting. Always discipline with a clear head, whether it be spanking or some other form.
Maryann, good point. Always walk away when you are angry. Spanking should never be done in anger. That's when parents need a time out!
Judy, thanks for stopping by. Whatever works for your family is what is important.
Happy Blogging everyone.
I have never spanked my kids, who are now 16 and 13. My husband and I decided before they were born that that was not a method we would choose in disciplining our kids. We were fortunate that time-outs were quite effective. I was spanked as a child and remember it as a humiliating and degrading experience. Admittedly, my spankings were not little "swats". I recall everyday household items morphing into a variety of spanking tools.
Even so, there is something about an adult hitting a child who can't hit back that seems too close to bullying to me. Even if we do say that it is done to teach a lesson. I think the same lessons can be taught without spanking.
And although you know that it shouldn't be done in anger and you don't spank in anger, many people don't know this or abide by it. If spanking is a commonly used form of discipline, I think it's more likely that someone will slip and spank in the heat of the moment.
Thank you for this thought-provoking post! It sparks a great conversation! ~Suerae
Thank you for following Army Wife and Mom. I'm a new GFC follower and can't wait to read what you have to say next!
Besides a little pop on the butt one time, I have never spanked my son. For me, it was just how things went. My son responds to tone of voice and time outs which think is a big help.
I just know for my family, spanking's not needed.
Thanks Army wife and Ronni for commenting. It's great to get so many views on parenting!
Post a Comment